Happy Bottom Bum Butter: Quick Review- by Guitar Ted
In the world of cycling, there are many tales and examples of suffering through the elements, the course, physical pains, and mental anguish to reach goals, finish lines, and cycling glory. Or….maybe you aren’t in to that. Maybe you are just riding for fun. It’s all good, but either way, having aches and pains is not unusual when undertaking physical activities of any sort, and cycling is no different. One of the most annoying pains is right in the butt. Yes….. Saddle sores, skin irritations in the groin area, problems with your nether regions, chafing, or whatever euphemism you choose to describe this phenomenon by, it really is not very enjoyable. It is something to be avoided, if not only for reasons of comfort, but for reasons of hygiene as well. I got to try out a…….I don’t know…. Over here we often call it by the crude name of “butt butter”. Chamois creme? I guess in the United Kingdom it is called “bum butter”, because that’s exactly where this product is from and it is exactly what it is called. “Happy Bottom Bum Butter”, to be exact.
Happy Bottom Bum Butter is a product that originally was offered by a U.K. based shop dubbed “Bikemonger”. (Now you can order it online from the US importer HERE.) The claim is that it is an all natural ingredient, vegan, antiseptic, and anti-bacterial bum butter balm for your “undercarriage”. Okay, so I received small tub of the stuff and like any good male worth his salt, just dove right in and used the stuff. I mean, I know where it goes and this isn’t my first rodeo with butt butter. I also didn’t want to read the tiny list of ingredients that older eyes like mine have a hard time seeing anyway. I’d get that squared away later. So, how was it?
My first impression was that I liked the fact that the texture wasn’t runny, or anything like what some chamois cremes are like. Less “creme” here, more viscous, but not sticky, like some things I’ve tried. It went on nicely and a quick wipe on a cloth with my fingers and it was gone. Perfect! Easy, mess free application- Check!
Riding with the Happy Bottom Bum Butter on me was fine. I didn’t get any super-Euro tingly sensations, ( sorry about the technical terminology here!), like some butt butters have, which, I’ll be honest, I really don’t like! There was a very mild sensation that something was there. A tiny tingle? Maybe, but then it was gone. I did a few shorter, one to three hour rides, and I never sensed any discomfort at all. Okay… Short ride comfort- Check!
But, you know…..what about a big ride? I’ve done big, multi-hour rides where about halfway through the chamois creme isn’t creamy anymore. Not good! So, I thought I should wait until after I used the Bum Butter on my annual Guitar Ted Death Ride Invitational, which this year was 102 plus miles of gravel and dirt roads. And you know what? The Happy Bottom Bum Butter held up for 102.7 miles without me thinking , “I really wish I had some more of this stuff to put on.” That said, Charlie The Bike Monger just announced a smaller, travel friendly size of the Bum Butter which you could slip into a top tube bag, or a saddle bag, for a reapplication, should the need arise.
At The Finish: All joking aside, this is really good stuff. It has an anti-bacterial effect, so if you have sores or rawness, it will help protect and heal your skin. I actually had a small irritation when I started using this stuff which cleared up afterward. Perhaps this was one of the reasons why? I think so. Comfortable to first put on, it doesn’t have that cold, wet feeling some cremes have nor is it too sticky or oily as some others are. I know of some chamois creme products that soak through your shorts and actually grease up your saddle. Bum Butter doesn’t do that either.
Things like this are highly personal and subjective, which makes sense. That said, I really see no reason this won’t work for many folks though. I’ve tried a lot of different solutions for this issue including diaper rash ointments, Bag Balm, and various cycling specific chamois cremes and this Bum Butter is my favorite so far. It seems to strike a good balance between all the other things I’ve tried and is all natural to boot. I like that.
For more information see the Bike Monger’s site HERE
Note: We were sent the Happy Bottom Bum Butter to test and review at no charge to Riding Gravel. We were not bribed nor paid for this review and we strive to give our honest thoughts and opinions throughout.
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